You Heard WHAT Now??

So, between sets on Sunday, I’m asked “Hey, what’s the deal with Ducky?”…I looked at this person with a somewhat puzzled expression and replied “Well, he has poor eyesight, likes beer…a lot, and is generally forgetful about most things except for random, incredibly detailed, memories from his childhood that usually have very little to absolutely nothing to do with whatever conversation you happen to be engaged in with him at the time – oh, and he’s really funny…is that what you mean?”  The individual says “No, no.  I mean, I heard a rumor.”  Not being one for gossip, I calmly, coolly, and in a very dignified manner, said “OH PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE TELL ME, TELL ME, TELL ME…I HAVE TO KNOW!!!” – this person responded “Well, it’s been going around that Ducky and Paul are dating.”  I said “EACH OTHER?!?!?!???”  The answer was “Yes.”  Now, what happened next is a little hazy because it’s difficult to be aware of your surroundings when you’re laughing so hard that you can’t see or breath or hear (I basically went into full sensory deprivation) but, I think the person on the other end of the conversation said something like “So, I guess it’s not true then?” – I’m not sure I even answered.  I just want to go on record as saying that this is my single favorite rumor EVER.  I love it SO much, that I really wish I had started it.  I love it so much, that I want to rent it a downtown apartment and buy it nice things and take it out for dinner and dancing.  I can actually see how this happened though…I mean, they DO fight like an old married couple (although, I suppose you could say that about any two of us at any given time).  And if it were true?…oh man, there’s your TV show!!  But alas, it could never be – one of them would most certainly kill the other…and of course there’s the small matter of Ducky not being gay…and Paul not liking short guys.  But it sure was a good laugh.