Deadliest American Road Band Stars...Wars...or something

In the same vein as, and on the heels of the success of, shows such as Ice Road Truckers, Deadliest Catch, Pawn Stars, American Pickers, American Restoration, Shipping Wars, Storage Wars, and all the other bastardized spin-offs currently airing on basic cable, Dave has decided it would be a great idea to have a camera crew follow us around and make a show out of it.  I cannot express in words the painful irony (which is lost on no one) of the most boring member of the band (maybe of any band…ever) trying to sell the rest of us on how interesting he thinks a show like this would be.  I know, the argument on Dave’s behalf would be “who the hell would want to watch four fat guys behind the counter of a pawn shop?  Well, as it turns out, everyone does” (except it would take Dave 45 minutes just to make this point so I’ll just cut to the chase and make it for him) – and that’s valid.  But that show, and shows like it, have little mini history lessons along with lessons on what items are actually worth as a hook – Deadliest Catch, and the like, have the possibility of injury or death as a hook…we’d have the possibility of Ducky forgetting his saxophones and Dave being late as a hook.  Our lives are just not that interesting – here’s an example…Episode 1, The Guys Away From The Band; Paul is in line to see the latest installment of the Twilight saga (or whichever of the Star Wars movies that’s next to come out in 3D), Scott is chasing around his two young children and planning another home-improvement project, Justin is at the gym, Ducky is practicing saying “Social” in the mirror, John is sitting bolt upright sound asleep in front of the TV with a cigarette in one hand the the remote control in the other, and Dave is in his kitchen eating Cream of Wheat staring at blank windowless wall.  Episode 2, The Guys On The Road; Justin is driving the van, Paul is sound asleep in his seat, Dave is sound asleep in his seat, Ducky is sound asleep in his seat, John is sitting bolt upright sound asleep in his seat, and Scott is quietly playing Angry Birds in his seat all the way in the back.  Episode 3…what?  Oh, we’ve been cancelled.   See what I mean?  If creating TV shows was as easy as playing bass, we’d all be doing it!!  :o)