I recently got into a friendly argument with a couple guys, at one of my hometown bars, about the greatest quarterbacks of all time. It’s a fun topic but it’s also an exercise in complete futility given the fact that no one will ever change anyone else’s mind about who’s better than who or why. When it was all said and done I thought…”Man, there could not possibly be a list of greatest anythings that could generate this much disagreement” – and then Rolling Stone magazine came out with another list of the “100 Greatest Guitarists Of All Time”. They had come out with a list on the same topic a few years ago…but it was so ridiculous that I had actually forgotten about it. So, anyway, out comes this new version…left at my front door like a flaming bag of poop – only more annoying.
See, when the quarterback argument unfolds, even though you may not get much agreement on their order of greatness, you’ll, at the very least, hear most of the same names thrown around (Montana, Elway, Marino, Favre, Brady, Staubach, Bradshaw, Young, Aikman, Manning, etc. etc.)…and, in my opinion, each list only needs to adhere to one major rule in order for me to take it seriously – I call it “The Joe Montana Rule”. Basically, it states that, for a quarterback list to have any credibility, Joe Montana must appear somewhere in the top 3. I have the exact same rule when it comes to guitarist lists…except it’s called “The Eddie Van Halen Rule”…and Rolling Stone has him at #8.
So, based on that, we’ve already established that their list is completely null and void. But, lets take a look at some of the people they’ve included on it anyway…just for laughs – Ready? Joni Michell, Curt Cobain, Neil Young, Lou Reed, Steve Jones (Sex Pistols), Bruce Springsteen, Peter Buck (REM), James Hetfield (Metallica), Jack White, and Johnny Ramone (The Ramones) all make this list…while, cats like Albert Collins, Steve Vai, Brad Paisley, Richie Sambora, Jerry Reed, Yngwie Malmsteen, Vince Gill, Keith Urban, Steve Howe, and Eric Johnson do NOT appear. With all due respect to the folks I’ve mentioned from the Rolling Stone list (some of whom are, in fact, musical legends)…none of them are great guitar players (some aren’t even good)…certainly not of ALL-TIME!! This is like putting Ron Jaworski, Jeff Garcia, Joe Theismann, Jeff Hostetler, Stan Humphries, Rich Gannon, and Kerry Colins on the quarterback list (again, no disrespect – all good players…but not all-time greats).
In the same way that Groucho Marx once said “I don’t want to belong to any club that would accept people like me as a memeber”…Curt Cobain, if he were alive, would think this list was a total disgrace just for the sole fact that he was on it. And, seriously…does Joni “F”ing Michell come to ANYONE’S mind when the topic is ” great guitarists”…or even ” guitarists ” for that matter??? I know Rolling Stone thinks they invented music and all but…c’mon – they’re judgement of worthiness is worse than that of The Rock n’ Roll Hall of Shame…I mean Fame.
Comments: