Just When You Thought Dave Couldn't Be Any More Boring

As we were walking out of the club after the show on Friday we were approached by a group of people who were eating pizza as they walked (stumbled is probably a more accurate description) down the street back to their beach house.  They walked up to Dave, since he was standing there empty-handed and not helping to carry anything out, as usual, and effusively complimented us on how great the show was that night (which, quite frankly, I probably had very little to do with given how poorly I felt I played on that particular evening…even by the already mediocre standards for which I have set forth and become known for throughout the years).  Dave thanked the folks, shook some hands (did I mention his were empty?), and asked that they please come out to see us again some time.  Just then, one of the pizza-toting passersby held up a pizza box and said; “Hey, you guys hungry?  We got a few slices left.” – to which Dave responded (on behalf of the entire band mind you); “No thanks Man…we’re all good.”  Friendly-Passerby; “You sure Bro?”  Stupid-Dave; “Yeah Man…thanks though.” – Are you kidding me…who turns down FREE PIZZA???  I can almost hear the thought-process rattling around in that ghost-white, spiky-haired head of his; “Hmmm…free pizza…that sounds like it might be fun for everyone…I better say No.  Besides, I’d sure hate anything to delay the start of my favorite part of the night…the long boring ride home.  Maybe I’ll have a dry bowl of Special K when I get home – I wonder if they make a Regular K that I could buy??…mmmm…flavorless.”