Don't Panic...All Is Clear

Sorry for the no-show in the “journal-post department” last week…I was hunkered-down in my basement waiting-out the zombie apocalypse.  Imagine my embarrassment when I emerged only to discover that the cause of all the recent flesh-eating was actually the ingestion of something called “Bath Salts”.  There were some folks that, in light of all the recent hysteria, feared that Dave may have joined the ranks of the walking-dead too…so much so that the band had to issue a release assuring everyone that he has always moved that slow and that the pasty-white hue of his complexion, although not normal by most human standards, has been with him since birth.  Besides, Zombie-Dave would find human flesh to be far too rich for his palate – while most zombies could be found with their faces buried in the chest cavity of some poor unsuspecting citizen right out in the middle of a city street, a posthumous Dave would be much more likely to be found with his face buried in a box of Saltines (after scraping the salt off of course) right out in the middle of the cracker aisle at a local grocery store.  So, to sum-up…there are no zombies – only drug-crazed wingnuts who seem to have temporarily lost their minds and ultra fair-skinned bass players that can only move at a snail’s pace.